Jennifer Curtis, New President, New Era

An Interview with Jennifer Curtis, President of North Star International

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and why you are here in the North Star community?

I found a home with people who understood me and my desire to stay an active covenant member of the Church.

What was it about North Star that that drew you in that made you feel like it was a safe place?

I went to a class for SSA women and this woman, who was not a member of the Church, was speaking about the cycle of false belief. This is where we have a false idea but then are constantly trying to prove it to ourselves. And at some point, you need to get out of that cycle and lean into the possibility that that’s not truth and then start proving that. She had gender dysphoria and was same sex attracted. I had really been praying that I would know a direction. When I saw her tell her story, it was like the Spirit just poured itself into me and I said, “That’s what I want. I want a transformation.” 

God had called her to tell her story, and I really began to believe that a transformation was possible. That is what I wanted, and I thought, “Wow – there must be people here wanting to do this too.” I stayed because I started to find them, and I started to make friends with all of those kinds of people. I realize that it’s an old cliché “You are who your friends are,” but it’s true. I started to make really good friends who helped me in the rough times, the dark times, and in the good times. North Star fostered that environment and that is what I wanted to be a part of.

I know you recorded a “Voices of “Hope” video which can be found here. You had already come out on a smaller scale, but this must have been a bit frightening and intimidating to come out to the world like that.

This was in March 2016. In the moment, I was scared. I was up in Utah for the conference, and those videos were filmed that weekend on Sunday. I got the address and was driving up there and pretty much I mostly cried on the drive. There was a song that ended up on the radio—I was trying to distract myself—called “Be Still” by the Fray, an alternative music group. The first lines are:

Be still and know that I’m with you
Be still and know that I am here
Be still and know that I’m with you
Be still, be still, and know

I played it on repeat the rest of the way. I really had the desire that whatever voice I had, whatever stories I had, that Heavenly Father would help me bring them to mind to help whomever of His children needed to hear it.

It was a big vulnerability hangover for me because it was going out more into the world. But I think it’s so interesting that this moment of my life is on tape because I am not that same person anymore. It’s been a decade, and I really am hoping as president that we can reach out to the people who [did Voices of Hope stories] and have them give a written update or a little video update of life so you can see what’s happened in a decade.

What has North Star done for you personally and what has been the transformation of North Star as an organization in the past decade?

…a large family with people who understand that struggle, that intersection of faith and sexuality.

And so, I’ve just kept coming back. It’s allowed me opportunities in leadership and to speak out in presentations to say all these bits and pieces of things that I’ve learned because I want to pass them on. I don’t want every generation or group that comes through to have to reinvent the wheel. So many people have so much wisdom around this. I’ve been watching patterns in this community occur for over a decade and seeing what those patterns of behavior are, is so helpful for me.

The second part of your question: how North Star has evolved. From the very beginning, North Star has been an all-volunteer organization which means you have people coming in to help with their talents and skills and that is fantastic. The thing that happens in that though is you get a little bit of a roller coaster ride. You get someone who happens to have a friend, and they love planning activities so all of a sudden you have a ton of different activities for all the demographics and things are running. And then someone else comes along and then something else happens. There’s been a little bit of that in North Star for people who’ve been here a long time, they probably noticed that.

Right now, I have changed our leadership a bit. We want sustainability and this is the first time North Star has had staff. By having somebody in charge of things and getting paid for it, that roller coaster ride ends. It becomes, “This is how it is, and this is what we’re doing – the activities we’re going to have each year no matter who’s in leadership.” That’s just going to keep us grounded and it’s not going to be dependent on how much time a person has or doesn’t have. We’ve had great leaders, but I think this is going to make it consistent and constant and you can be guaranteed that we’re going to have [the same activities year after year]—temple days and socials, and a Couples Retreat and Single Adult Summit. These are things that we will be offering, and I think that new consistency is going to help everyone plan their calendars for the year.

How did North Star come about and what is its mission?

As to the heart and soul of North Star, it really grew out of Jeff Bennion and Ty Mansfield and a couple of their friends. They sat down one night and said they wanted, as SSA men, an organization that was for them, by them. They wanted a place where they could figure things out for themselves and that they could do it with a relationship with Jesus Christ.

They understood the statistics, that people who have a faith and a community, who feel that they belong are less likely to have problems with suicidal ideation, and to succeed much better in all aspects of life. I think that as we’re moving forward, what we’re trying to do is continue to build on what they started and have more connection within our demographic Facebook groups: more events to help people feel like they belong to something bigger than themselves—having socials, conferences, temple days—all of which bring a community together where people can look each other in the eye and say, “I understand.” 

…it’s about learning to submit your will to God…

Though a lot of people struggle doing that and a lot of people don’t find themselves to be successful whether they’ve already made covenant in the temple or not, North Star and its people are the ones who have definitely become what we would call “all in.” They’re all in with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. These people will always encourage you to look and listen to and turn unto Christ and listen to what the Spirit is trying to tell you and what changes you need to make in your life.

We’re all trying to do our best and at the same time I know God loves us for being who we are. And yet it’s a gospel of change. He doesn’t expect any of us to stay the same. And I would always encourage someone to really look at their testimony. What is it that you really believe? Because when you figure that out, a bunch of decisions you have to make become easier. If you truly believe, then you work at that humility and you work on your testimony. You dig in and if you don’t believe and if you go off to be in a same-sex relationship, I’m totally good with that and we can still be friends.
However, I’m always going to promote with a gospel message. We make and keep sacred covenants, and they will take us down a path that will lead us to your Heavenly Father and being with Him again.

Other organizations have stepped away from the Family Proclamation. What is North Star‘s view on that document and other policies of the Church of Jesus Christ as it relates to these issues?

The Family: A Proclamation to the World was written in 1995. At the time, it seemed like everyone was okay with the roles of women and men, and that marriage is between a man and a woman. Thirty years down the road we know that that was a prophet of God who delivered this to us because no one could have fully seen how society was going to go down this road. North Star’s stance is that we sustain the brethren and the doctrine and policies of the Church, including the Family Proclamation.

Now does that mean that it is easy? No. Does it mean that we have hard conversations in some of our demographic groups? Yes. Does that mean that we’re always in different ways talking about it or trying to figure out the best wording to help people? Yes, because we’re sensitive to it and we’re trying to do our best to stay within the gospel doctrine and continue to show our love and support and empathy to our brothers and sisters, who are in the crux of one of the greatest challenges of their lives in finding some type of reconciliation.

But as an organization, we always sustain the brethren. That was one of the foundations of North Star and it has been over the last 20 years and is still the heart of it. It does make us different from other organizations

What do you hope to accomplish as president? Are there things that you hope that you will be able to bring as president?

As president, I hope to bring a continued sense of community and to re-ignite that sense of belonging in the communities. We have quite a few different demographic-specific Facebook groups that people can join and I’m hoping that we can get back to the days where there was discussion in these groups about where your life was and what you were trying to do and how it was going. Back when these groups started, there were people there to whom you could ask questions, who would buoy you up as you were struggling. People that were maybe two footsteps ahead, but they had a little wisdom, or they were a mile ahead and it was like “Please, I’d like to understand. How did you think through these things and what really did help you?” To have people pointing you to Christ.

I hope as president that I can be a clear example that the only way I have found my own way through my struggles was because of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. He guided me in the in the hard moments. I guess there was always a belief inside of me that I could reconcile this, that nothing was impossible with God and my journey has proven that.

This is the message that I want to go out into North Star and to everyone else, that all things are possible with God, then I’m going to ask you to sit down and talk to someone who has that story and feel the Spirit as they speak that truth.

Tell us about the upcoming conference and any information you can provide.