Why Covenants?
SPENCER THOMPSON
In my younger years when I would hear talk in church about the covenant path or General Conference talks about covenants, it always felt so overwhelming and burdensome to me. Knowing from my early teenage years that I experienced same-sex attraction, I always felt inadequate and inferior and that I was never good enough. All of these feelings were amplified because of my attractions and I felt on a deeper level that I would never measure up to what God was expecting of me or be able to live the covenant path in the way I was perceiving it to be. Maybe some of you reading this can relate.
Further into my life, my experience with covenants and my understanding of them started to shift. I hit many low points along my path and honestly didn’t know how I was going to proceed. These times in my life forced me to dig deep, get really uncomfortable in facing a lot of deep pains and shame stories, and learn more than ever to rely upon my Savior. It was through this process of having to get real with myself, face things I had been avoiding most of my life, and get real with the Savior and God, that I started to feel a shift and feel some relief and hope. Sister Camille Johnson stated in her most recent conference address that “covenant keepers are blessed with Christ’s relief”(1). This is such a true and powerful statement and one that I have come to know personally. In my journey, I knew I never wanted to leave the church but didn’t know what to do with the deep pains I carried about not feeling like I belonged or fit in. But as I have looked back, I realized that Christ’s relief and strength had carried me through those times of deep pain and confusion as I did strive to connect to Him in the ways that I knew how. I also have also realized that unbeknownst to me during those times, I was drawing upon the power of my covenants. So my perception of covenants has shifted from feeling burdensome to becoming a source of power, strength, hope and relief. I can literally say that my covenants have saved my life.
One of the ways that I have learned to connect with Christ is through mindfulness and meditation. I have had many sacred and healing experiences through doing this and want to share one with you. This happened a few years ago and I was feeling like a complete failure as a man and completely overwhelmed and I had been asking God to help me understand covenants more and how they could help me through this time. As I was meditating on this, I had a visual come into my head of covenants being a soft landing catching me from my falls and failures and that they prevented me from falling further. I felt this landing soften the blows of life that I was experiencing and that they helped me rise quicker and faster. I felt Christ’s arm reaching towards me and it was easier for me to grab and hold onto because that soft landing - my covenants -were keeping me closer to Him. This was such a powerful visual to me and one that I have learned to understand more as I have continued to contemplate the importance of covenants in my life. Covenants don’t prevent hard things from happening, but they can soften the blow. I know firsthand that navigating the complexities of faith, sexuality and gender can hit so hard at times that it’s hard to breathe. But I promise that your covenants will keep you as you strive to keep them. I can testify that striving to keep your covenants can soften the hardship that can accompany the LGBTQ/SSA experience as your covenants keep you bound to the greatest source of love and strength. President Nelson has stated, “All those who have made a covenant with God have access to a special kind of love and mercy”(2). I invite you all to take advantage of this special type of love and mercy that God only offers to those who make covenant-making and covenant-keeping an important part of their life.
I have asked several other members of the North Star Community to share why covenants are important to them as they have navigated their experiences of faith, gender and sexuality.
When I asked Erik Thompson why covenants are important to him as he has navigated his experience of being a gay member of the church, he stated, “Keeping covenants brings the assurance of the Spirit and the guiding influence of Christ. On this journey I have learned that no one cares more for me than Jesus. No one loves me more than He loves me. Covenants keep me close to Him and His Spirit. I am still learning about the Savior and how to be closer to Him. The Covenant path is the way to follow what He would have us do and the only true clear path to navigate sexuality in a troubled world; the only path that will ultimately bring peace and happiness.”
Victoria Adam added testimony about how covenants have helped navigate the experience of gender dysphoria, stating, “As I have entered into covenants, not knowing the full extent and understanding of covenant, I entered each covenant with the understanding that they are spiritual gifts from God. A covenant is a spiritual law that guides the spirit through its journey in mortality and into eternity. I have lived a lifetime of having faith that the covenants that I have entered into will help me become like my Father and his Son Jesus Christ. The seeds (my covenants) were planted decades ago giving me the power and strength to understand a lifetime of experiences.”
Myrna Moll shared her testimony of covenants as a woman experiencing same-sex attraction and stated: “For me Covenants are important because they remind me of the love my Heavenly Father has for me. By striving to keep my Covenants I show my Heavenly Father my thanks and love for all he does for me. This helps build my relationship and faith to trust in my Father in Heaven. With that trust, I strive to keep my covenants. This to me is the circle of covenants. The circle of covenants is the bracket or glue that keeps us close to our Heavenly Father.”
An anonymous member of our community shared this experience with covenants: “I think covenants help us keep priorities in our life and put Christ first. They help remind me of what's important and act as a compass to know what is right and wrong. They also help me surrender to the will of my Heavenly Father and as I strive to keep them, I know will bring happiness and joy in this life and the life to come.”
I know that this path is hard and can feel overwhelming and complicated. We all are at various places in relationship to our covenants and to our Heavenly Father and Christ. But I testify that as you continue to strive to keep your covenants and follow Christ wherever you are at, He will meet you there, carry you and offer you the type of relief that only He offers. I pray that you will all continue to discover the incredible strength, comfort, power and relief that our covenants with God can offer. Sending love to you all.
1-President Camille N. Johnson, Relief Society General President, “Jesus Christ Is Relief” General Conference April 2023
2-Presidnet Russell M. Nelson, “The Everlasting Covenant” General Conference October 2022